Contact Author Another Night at Bars?
You are a gay man who has been single far too long. You are good looking and smart, have a great set of friends, and take care of yourself: I keep going week after week and no luck.
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Will it happen tonight? Oh crap, is that a pimple? There are tons of hurdles to overcome that can make it feel like the deck is stacked against us.
One major barrier can be figuring out where to meet someone. While bars can be a fun place to hang out with our friends, they are not always conducive to romantic connections. And let's face it—as time goes on, the inability to meet a quality person can take its toll on our confidence. After speaking with a number of formerly single gay men who are now happily partnered, I will now reveal seven places to find your next boyfriend that are not a bar.
You'll find suggestions you've heard before, some of that are unconventional, and others that may even be silly. But if you're trying to break out of the bars, you may want to give them all a chance.
I will add that this list is by no means exhaustive—please feel free to add ideas in the comment section at the end of this article. You have tried everything else—so what else do you have to lose? Okay—let's look at the list! Dating Apps and Web Sites Source You may be thinking that using apps and websites seems silly, but many gay men have met the guy of their dreams by using these types of platforms.
Popular ones include OKCupid and Gay. Some of these are free while others cost a small amount or charge a nominal fee for premium services. The great thing about apps and websites is that most all of them nowadays allow the user to input certain search criteria or filter out folks based on user preferences.
You can also check MeetUp for gay groups of common interests in your area. If you like outdoor activities, check out Gay Outdoors. If you are one of those people, you need to rethink this and do so quickly. According to recent research, there are 41 million people in the US who are currently looking to meet that special someone online. This statistic does not speak to the number of single gay men specifically, but we make up a fair amount of that number.
If you have tried dating using apps and sites before with no luck, consider using a different app. Scroll through your smartphone's options and pick something new.
The idea here is to create change. Remember, dating is a numbers game. You have to put yourself out there in order to make it happen.
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And here is one final point on this suggestion—while Grindr, Scruff, and other apps are great tools for meeting people, keep in mind that some of these platforms are more sexually charged than others. There is nothing wrong with this but if your goal is to date, using the right app is important. We are talking millions! There are a number of fan pages and groups on Facebook that are specifically designed for gay men who are single and relationship-ready.
Remember, the people who are putting themselves out there are doing so with the same motivations that you are—to connect with someone for romance. Did you know you can search Facebook for people on your friends list that are single? You might be surprised. Of course, identification as single on Facebook depends on what the user indicates in their profile. But using this approach does allow you to see potential candidates.
If they are an acquaintance, why not consider going out for a coffee? Later on the both of you might figure out that was your "first" date. Again, what do you have to lose? Plus, many of us like to get all dolled up and go to events, like fundraisers for the different causes we support.
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Get rid of the wing-man. In this capacity, you help to fill the table by soliciting people for donations.
As captain, you have control over who is seated at your table—which is a huge advantage for you! Plus, you get to network with others who may be single and thereby expand your circle of available men. Go to the fundraiser with the mindset of supporting the cause you care about, but be open to meeting someone new.
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Local Community Classes This particular suggestion has worked well for many gay men who were formerly single. La Jolla, CA Stuart Collection The Stuart Collectionan internationally renown sculpture collection on the campus of UC San Diego, is free to explore with a map that can be printed online or via a brand new iPhone app.
This collection is different from your average sculpture garden because some of the pieces are incorporated into buildings on site. The famous Sun God sculpture is part of the collection.
My 6-year-old daughter explored the entire collection with her grandma and loved it. Wear walking shoes, bring snacks and take the family on a sort of treasure hunt.
The 18th sculpture installation, Fallen Star, is a crooked little house that kids will love on top of the engineering building called Jacobs Hall. UC San Diego campus The caves are perched in 75 million year-old sea cliffs. As you might imagine, everything from immigrants to contraband whiskey have been smuggled into the area via the ocean and hidden inside the caves. Most kayakers enter the ocean at La Jolla Shores beach and paddle out toward the caves.
Soledad Veterans Memorial honors veterans that have served our country with beautiful black granite plaques. There are over of these granite plaques on 6 Memorial Walls that are mementos of the brave people who fought way back when in the Revolutionary War to the current Middle East conflict.